Monday, November 17, 2008 8:00 AM

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Maxine Perkins and for the next six weeks, I will be either your best friend or your worst enemy.

Most of you are probably wondering “Why am I here? What have I done? Are these restraints really necessary?”

The answer is quite simple. As you might recall, two weeks before the presidential election, in an attempt to distract the populace put the minds of the voting public at ease, President Bush issued an executive order making English the official language of the United States. Originally titled the “Speak American Act” but now popularly known as the Jules Winnfield Law , it insures that attempts by foreign terrorists to corrupt our voting process will be nipped in the bud. 2008 marks the year that we made sure election fraud will only be committed by decent American citizens.
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